


A Handyman Walks Into an Office Building

by Shwindu



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, First Meetings, Fluff, Gen, Go Fish, Horse Paintings, Minor Timeskips, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-05-20 18:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19382689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwindu/pseuds/Shwindu
Summary: In an office of the company SKAIA, a QUEEN ends up with more BROKEN FURNITURE than she can handle herself. To put her out of her misery for a short while at least, the BOSS decides to sends a HANDYMAN to REPAIR the objects in question and any more that may appear in the future.Little does he know, the handyman will make other things harder for the queen than he had initially expected.





	1. Entering the BQ's Department

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! So, this is a pretty odd ship. Yeah, so I don't remember how I came across it but I love it and I hate how it has almost nothing made for it so here we are. (Fun fact but I personally like to call this ship Smoky Paint :3c)
> 
> This is a human au set in an office setting. It will have two chapters, and this first chapter is basically just an introduction. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I have no idea how things in an actual office work, so if anything here is inaccurate, I'm sorry.

If you were to have been told a month ago that the office's handyman would become someone you fancied, you would've laughed harder than when Slick tripped and fell down two flights of stairs drunk. But you are not laughing now.

You are actually, quite frankly, screwed and nobody is allowed to know why. 

You, are the CHIEF of your department of your city's most successful company, SKAIA. Some call you the BLACK QUEEN, others have dubbed you with the nickname SNOWMAN for reasons you can't fathom to understand. Your true name is BEATRICE QUINCY, and you don't take shit from anyone. 

You aren't usually nice to others unless they have earned it, and even then it's never a permanent thing. When you had first gotten the notice about a handyman being assigned to your department, that was going to be double the case for them. It was a thought process mainly ruled by the shame of you getting caught in such a situation by the BOSS himself and irritation because you certainly did not need another person to look after on top of everything else. 

To be blunt, you wanted to punch something after getting the message. The only thing holding you back was the thought that breaking things was the whole reason that you were in this position to begin with.   
You spared some of your dignity (thank goodness) by thinking through this more sensibly.

If you couldn't reject the handyman before they came along, then you would put an end to their visit as soon as possible. You would have an office so put together after they've done their work that they won't be needed around any longer and they would be sent back to the department from where they came from or elsewhere (you didn't care back then as long as they would _leave_ in the end.).

An easy enough plan to execute, you have enough authority among your workers that it counts when you need it. Even your more troublesome workers would learn to behave. 

It was going to go smoothly. The handyman would leave in the first week if all went well and everything would go back to normal.

It was going to go well.

That's what you planned. That's what you _thought_.

But it seems the universe has an agenda against you. 

Because the handyman you were expecting was a 50 year old slob with poorly cut hair and a terrible personality. Instead, a woman who couldn't be more than a year or so older than yourself entered the office with a colorful shawl covering her hair and an expression that had no right to be that cheerful. 

"Hello? Is this the BQ's department?" She had asked in the abrupt silence that transpired after she entered the meeting room. 

You sneered to cover your own shock and stood up, approaching her. You were at least a foot taller than her, quite possibly more, and yet she didn't bat an eyelash. She wasn't intimidated of you at the slightest. 

"Yes, this is my department. Who are you?" You had answered her, crossing your arms over your chest. You had a feeling you already knew the answer, if her white overalls were any indication. You wanted to make sure though, no reason to throw yourself off the sanity wagon if this woman wasn't who you thought she was.

"My name is Mina Paint, but you can go ahead and call me Mina. As of today I should be your handyman."

Well fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter of my fanfic! I know it was short but the second chapter is much longer I promise.
> 
> Now, as you probably already know from reading other fanfics, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated by us authors so it would really mean a lot if you could give your thoughts on this!
> 
> Have you ever heard of this ship before? What do you think of it? :)


	2. Winning their Hearts

"Mina are you sure about this? The BQ is ruthless." Your dear friend PAIGE MAIL, Skaia's MAIN RECEPTIONIST, warned you typing away at something on her computer. She works in the main lobby for the sake of visitors and easy communication with them. She handles many calls from other companies and is the main pole of communication in the building. You don't get much opportunities to speak to her, but you were lucky that you had to pass by her desk on your trip to your possible new job position.

"Of course I am. Weslynne has assured me many a time that I would be fine working over there. You don't need to worry about me dearie," You replied, waving a hand as if to blow away her worries with the force of your rather soft flapping. Paige had huffed, not satisfied.

"Well yeah but they're cousins so of course the WQ would be so calm about the idea. I heard the BQ once got bitten by a shark and punched it back in retaliation," she insisted while writing something down in her 'Bookings book'. You sighed, yet your expression remained fond. You love all your coworkers, however quirky and stubborn they are at times.

But then was no time for unreasonable worries, you were probably already running late as it was. And so you tried something else.

"Well. If worse comes to worse I have a screwdriver and a hammer as weapons," you had said, winking at her, and this seemed to do the trick.

Paige abruptly stopped in her writing and you only saw her shoulders shake for a few seconds until she burst out into a fit of giggles and snorts. You chuckled softly at your own joke as well and saw her crouch down behind her desk trying to compose herself again.

Your joke had shaken off your friend's worries and she had finally told you the directions to BEATRICE QUINCY'S OFFICE which you promptly started speedwalking in the direction to. You were already late, so you hoped you wouldn't get into too much trouble.

 

**== >**

 

Now standing infront of the BQ herself, you've made a few observations. 

Firstly, she is rather tall. And though the heels might be the explanation for this, you think they only add on to her (in your opinion) already astonishing height. It's a little unfair if you were to be honest with yourself.

Secondly, you understand where Paige's worries were coming from. The BQ does have an intimidating air about her. But you are no way going to let that affect you. What kind of first impression would that be? You pride yourself upon being a hospitable guest (however much of an oxymoron that statement is). And you have also always been told to treat others as you would like to be treated. You aren't leaving that life's rule behind for a simple reason like fear.

Thirdly, you do acknowledge that Beatrice is a beautiful woman. You will not go out of your way to make her uncomfortable, but it'd be strange of you to not even acknowledge that. It's not an important thought at the moment though so you sort that thought to the back of your mind.

And lastly, the BQ's posture is forced after having approached you. Almost like she's trying her best to act natural, and as a result she's more stiff than she actually would if she wasn't focusing on being natural. You don't know why she's trying to put on a mask. You consider asking what's wrong but decide against it seeing all her other employees in the room. Pride is a fragile thing at times, and it would not do any good in embarrassing her infront of the others. Especially not on your first day coming into this office.

"I'm Mina Paint, but go ahead and call me Mina dearies. I think I'm your handyman as of today."

That's what you had said when you first entered the room. Beatrice had just let out a soft 'oh', which you thought seemed uncharacteristic for her but you didn't put much thought to it; This wasn't the run of the mill encounter after all (you're assuming).

She then told you to wait outside for her to finish the meeting before she could go over arrangements and schedules for you. That's where you are now.

The hall isn't that bad, and the BQ opens the door stepping outside of her office after only at most 10 minutes of you admiring the many majestic horse paintings in the hall (what fascinating taste). She is punctual among other things as it seems.

"Sorry for the wait." She apologizes nonchalantly, like it's just courtesy instead of an actual apology (that very well could be the reason). But you do think you sense a bit of sincerity in that too. You just shake your head in reply, it wasn't a big deal even if the apology wasn't a sincere one. You were the one who was running late in the first place. 

"No need to worry dear." 

"Now follow me and we shall discuss your job here at my department."

 

**== >**

 

The interview had been like any other interview at a new workplace; sort of dull, and vaguely nerve-wracking but necessary.

Arrangements were met and you are to start work tomorrow since it seemed like too late to start on fixing anything in the offices. But it was also too early to head home, however much Beatrice had insisted ("It's your first day I'm not forcing you to stay here when you don't even have anything you need to do.").

You both found a compromise in that you would need to know your way around here if you were to work here. So she handed you off to one of her workers, IVAN GROUND ("Call me Itchy!"), and waved you both off as she went back to work on something or another.

Itchy is a chipper and high-strung fellow to say the least. He could probably go after the world record for "amount of words said in a minute" if he tried hard enough, and could maybe even make it into the Cirque du Soleil if it was his passion. 

He bounces from one door to the other, going on rambles about that one time Fin spilled coffee on Stitch's new coat or why there are so many dents on this doorframe because that is such an interesting story let me tell ya that it's just crazy ya know?

You don't even have to say much, he carries the conversation on his own while still doing a decent job of showing you around. You'll probably be able to maneuver around semi-decently tomorrow which is a plus to coming late at least (in some bizarre way). 

Somewhere along the way he has started talking about the BQ, giving out facts like how the crew likes to call her Snowman ("Can't have mafia nicknames for everyone besides the lesser boss yanno? That'd just be crazy."), which you chuckle at because you can definitely see how she could react to a nickname like that. He also goes off about how strict she can be but also how she's let them get away with a lot of things too. It makes you smile hearing about this different side to her.

"So what'dya think about Snowman so far?" Itchy asks as you go through one of the hallways he has already presented to you —a shortcut to the final destination. He turns around and moving backwards to keep talking to you, which you find kind while also a tinsy bit unsafe since he could bump into something without paying attention. But you keep your mouth shut seeing how he expertly weaves around a corner. He possibly quite literally knows this place like the back of his hand so you decide that he will probably be fine. Instead you settle to answer his question.

"She seems like a responsible lady," you reply shortly and honestly. A very lackluster answer now that you think about it. He snerks rolling his eyes at your answer which you guess furthers your own point.

"Yeah okay sure but what 'bout... yunno," he trails off waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. 

...

So this is where he wanted to go with this?

You waggle an eyebrow in return and he laughs in surprise, almost walking right into a purple-clad fellow. Said passerby expertly weaves around the two of you as Itchy buckles in on himself cackling. It takes a few moments, but Itchy stands up straight again wiping away a seemingly nonexistent tear after he's recovered.

"Oh I like ya. No wonder Snowy was like that."

"Like what?"

"Aaand this is our final destination miss!" He stops infront of an open doorway quickly, yet not smoothly, changing the subject. You step inside looking around, ignoring the random conversation switch. 

It looks like a break room. Two couches at one side of the room made of worn dark green leather (an interesting choice) facing each other. Then a big bookshelf against the wall opposite the door, filled primarily with books and folders, but having a few other knickknacks here and there (like an eightball and an egg timer..?). There's a table off to the side of the middle of the room, and it has no sense of order to it. There's papers splayed across the surface of many different types (both bills and tic-tac-toe spreadsheets lie about), a few different coffee mugs lay there and must have been there for a few hours now at least. To top it off not one of the chairs surrounding the table are the same type. There's a barstool, a swivel chair, a green beanbag (that's not even a real chair!) and a foldable chair with an ocean blue pillow on it.

It certainly is an interesting and homely break room. 

But the room while having plenty of visible memories and footprints of the people who work here, still has an air of emptiness to it. The walls are an off-white color, the floor a dull grey. No paintings or pictures or wallpaper on the walls anywhere. This would be just another room if all the furniture was gone. It hits you in a way you can't describe. 

"Do you have any plans in decorating this room in the future?" You ask before you even properly process the question, starring at the walls. Looking away from the room, you gaze over at Itchy. His awfully easy to read face shows a look of curiosity and intrigue.

"Not really no. Though we've been badgering Snowman for a paint job for a while now. Why?" He asks, a hopeful lilt to his voice and an expecting smile stretching on his face.

"Do you think Beatrice would mind, a small surprise renovation?" you ask carefully, sporting a small semi-anxious smile, your burst of confidence quickly slipping away through your fingers. His reaction though, is better than what you could've hoped and it does rekindle your hope. He jumps into the air letting out a wordless shout of excitement. He then walks over to you and thuds you on the back grinning the widest you've ever seen anyone grin, and you've seen your old coworker (he's retired now) Axel Reming at an antique gun's shop.

"Nah. If it's ya she won't care in the slightest," he says with confidence, practically buzzing in place next to you. You feel giddy just standing next to him.

"Well then. Might you have any paint around here?" you ask him already taking out the two brushes you have handy in one of the pockets of your overalls. He nods, his expression changing as if he's just been tasked with protecting the president sprints out of the room, probably in direction of the nearest supply closet.

You chuckle to yourself adjusting the shawl over your head and look around the room. You wouldn't need to do anything big, just something to add charm. And you might just have an idea.

 

**== >**

"You got any sevens?"

Cans glares at you from across the table as he gives away his three sevens. You chuckle placing the four sevens onto the floor beside you as your opponent continues to give you the stink eye. If you couldn't win over Cans of all people at Go Fish then you wouldn't be able to call yourself the CROWBAR of the group.

Itchy and Clover chuckle from the couch, watching this fierce (not really) game of Go fish unfold. They would be in the game as well if neither of them were filthy cheaters. No one has been able to prove it yet, but you all know. It's just a matter of time, and then they will face Matchstick's wrath. Oh how you long for it...

"Crowbar, it's your turn," Ms. Paint says from the other couch which brings you out of your revenge-ridden stupor. She's a nice lady, you have to admit. And she's got style too; Though it was a small change, that green and dark blue flower pattern on the window casings brought some color to the otherwise blank room. She even decorated the door frame; daisies sprouting near the floor. 

Of course you're all waiting to see how the lesser boss, Snowman, will react. Worst case scenario, you'd have to paint over the pattern and Ms. Paint would be sent back to the WQ's office. Best case scenario, she'd stay and actually do something with the walls of this room too while fixing anything else that the idiots have broken.

You're all just waiting around for when the BQ comes to the break room where you all reside. You can see how her shoulders tense every time someone walks past the break room door.

"You got any queens?" 

"Go fish!" Cans shouts way too triumphant for someone who had won barely any books. You roll your eyes and grab one card from the deck. Wrapping your head around baseless enthusiasm hasn't been anything you've ever thought about doing, and this isn't where you start.

Oh shit. You hold back a laugh as you doubletake at the card you just drew though and almost feel bad for your opponent. Almost. You flip it around for Cans to see, smirking ever so slightly. 

A queen of spades.

He's practically steaming at this point. 

Itchy hollers, doubling over in laughter while Clover merely snickers into his hand when they bend around to see the card. Mina coughs into her hand, turning away but you see the smile she's trying to hide. Probably trying to be considerate of Cans. Such a good lady, honestly.

This is the last straw for Cans though. He throws down his hand and swipes the stock off of the table in anger. Looks like you won by default, yet again. What is it now, seven times? Fourteen? Who knows, you're not keeping count. 

Itchy continues to laugh which really isn't anything new of him, but Ms. Paint walks over and pats Cans on the shoulder. Weirdly it calms him down a fraction.

Huh.

You'll have to look into that in the future.

Then a knock coming from the door way rings through the talk and instantly silences the room.

You already know who it is before you look over merely from her aura, so you personally are not surprised when Snowman stands in the doorway. Itchy and Cans however are flabbergasted, mouths agape and eyes which nervously glance between Ms. Paint and Snowman.

Said woman bears a frighteningly neutral expression. Her eyes glance over the floral decor on the windows and doorframe for a second before focusing on Ms. Paint.

Ms. Paint's doesn't falter under her gaze which is a remarkable ability for someone who just met the BQ. She's just looking up expectantly at her, clasping her hands on her lap with a soft expression overall (though you do notice how tight she's grasping them). You understand why Snowman rushed to finish the meeting after Mina showed up. Not only is she sweet and charming, but she's tough.

The room is tense as the two woman stare off at each other. Snowman has the moment to break the silence at any moment, but knowing her sadistic mug she's probably relishing in the tension. She does break the silence after a reasonable-ish amount of time though to probably everyone's relief, with a cough and a barely noticeable rise in color at the tips of her ears. That's interesting.

"Could you step outside with me for a bit?" Snowman asks, with the usual professional self confidence she has even if her subtle nervous tics dictate the absolute opposite demeanor. An intake of breath from the rowdy bunch, as all the eyes are now on Mina. It's like a god damned novella in here.

"Okay."

She smiles up at the Snowman, and you withhold a snort at the twitch of Snowman's lips. Once you know how a person works, it's easy to figure out what they're thinking. And Snowman's an open book for you to read right now. Oh the beauty of subtext, what a shame it is that most of the gang doesn't know the meaning of it.

Your lesser boss nods her head to the door and then exits the room without another word. Mina waves to the four of you before following her, adjusting the shawl over her head as she heads out of the room, a certain extra energy to her step that wasn't there before. They close the door behind them.

There are a few beats of silence in the room as the pair leave. Comfortable, rare, peaceful silence. You'd relish in it if you didn't know better.

And then these idiots run to the door to listen in to the other side, to see if Snowman is going to say anything else. Fools, they could her just as much from where they were sitting before if they'd just stay quiet. The walls of this breakroom are ridiculously thin.

"Would you like to accompany me for coffee sometime?" 

"It'd be a pleasure."

Their footsteps sound in the silent room until you can't hear them anymore.

Then celebration rings out in the break room. You quickly open the door and exit out of the break room before it gets to the thick of it. You'd rather not get a headache today thanks. But, you don't blame them for the ruckus this time around. This was a very interesting development. Who knew a handyman could walk into an office building and win the heart of the queen?

You sure didn't, and it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand that's a wrap! Thank you for reading this! It was pretty fun to write (especially chapter two with all the characters ^^) and I hope you enjoyed it! If you liked it please leave a kudo and if you have any comments at all on this fic, PLEASE do comment down below!! It really means a lot to us writers :)
> 
> That's about all I had to say really, thanks for reading :D


End file.
